Separation: The Do’s and Don’ts

Separation is one of life’s major stressors. 

Managing the many changes that come with separation can be overwhelming.

At Empower Family Law and Mediation we have helped hundreds of clients navigate the post-separation maze with clarity and compassion.

To assist you to separate and prepare for the next phase, we have used our experience to compile a list of practical Do’s and Don’ts for our clients to work through. Our clients have told us they have used this as a checklist to help them move forward.

Do:

• Seek legal advice from a family lawyer.
• Contact the Police if you are at risk of family violence.
• Seek the protection of an Intervention Order if you have been subjected to family violence.
• Talk to your kids in an age-appropriate way about your separation.
• Reach out to family and friends for support.
• Eat healthily, exercise and take time out for the things you enjoy.
• Seek assistance from your General Practitioner or psychologist if you are having difficulty coping.
• If possible, try to agree on living arrangements for each of you and the children. Ideally, the children will remain in the family home with their primary carer.
• Try to agree on who will pay the mortgage and in what proportions. If you need mortgage relief, contact your bank before you are in default.
• Compile a comprehensive list of your assets, liabilities and superannuation entitlements.
• Change your online passwords and Personal Identification Numbers (PIN) for your banking, email, memberships, computer and tablets, phone, credit and debit cards, utilities and Apple ID / Cloud sharing apps.
• Keep a diary note or other evidence of the date of your separation.
• Open your own bank account and credit card.
• If you are the primary credit card holder, maintain a close eye on transactions or place the cards on hold until you agree when your ex-partner’s access to the card will be removed.
• Contact your bank to ensure that joint account transactions, for example mortgage offset, mortgage redraw, savings and investment accounts, require both parties’ authority to withdraw.
• Collate and store important documents, including:
  • Marriage certificates
  • Birth certificates
  • Passports
  • Credit card and bank statements for at least the past three years
  • Income Tax Returns and Assessments
  • Cryptocurrency keys, wallets and statements
  • Insurance policies
  • Superannuation member statements
  • Trust deeds
  • Wills and Powers of Attorney
  • Vehicle and boat registration
  • Share portfolio statements
  • Business registration documents and financial returns.
• Contact your accountant for tax and accounting advice about settlement options.
• Update your Will, Powers of Attorney, life insurance policies and superannuation fund if your separation means a change in how you would like your estate divided if you pass away.
• Contact your real estate agent and update your lease if you and your former partner live in rental accommodation.
• Contact your utility and service providers to arrange to transfer contracts.
• Consult a financial planner, financial advisor or accountant for assistance to structure your post-separation finances and to ensure you have a budget that takes account of your child support obligations, spousal maintenance obligations and your fixed expenses. If you are seeking to retain the family home, their advice will help you to reality test this objective.
• Consider changing the locks if you are remaining in the family home and you are concerned about your ex-partner entering the house and removing items.
• Take diary notes about settlement discussions you have with your ex-partner, about the times you spend with your children and any arrangements you have agreed to. Try to capture as much detail of events and discussions as possible- these notes may become evidence in the event you are required to go to Court.  
• If you are leaving the home, take your personal belongings with you or package them before you leave and arrange a time to collect them soon after.
• Advise your children’s schools, your accountant and financial advisor, the Child Support Agency, your bank, your General Practitioner and the Australian Tax Office that you have separated.
• Create a photographic inventory of items of jewellery, wine collections, antiques, spare parts, collectibles or other items of value which can easily be removed or sold by an unscrupulous ex-partner.

Do Not:

• Sign any settlement documents without legal advice.
• Co-opt family and friends to negotiate on your behalf.
• Involve your children in disputes about your separation.
• Post disparaging or abusive messages about your ex-partner or your separation on social media.
• Abuse illicit substances or alcohol.
• Engage in heated discussions or arguments with your ex-partner.
• Sell, transfer or dispose of personal or business assets without the consent of your former partner.
• Use joint assets as security for loans without your ex-partner’s agreement.
• Change your company structure or shareholder arrangements without your ex-partner’s agreement.
• Ignore your child support obligations.
• Take legal advice from friends or associates. Every case is different, and every case turns on its facts.

From your very first conference with us you will know where you stand, what your options are and what to expect.

That is why your first 30-minute consultation with us is FREE.

Let us be your voice in troubled times.